TV Talk: True Blood (S4E8 “Spellbound”)

I swear to God, I wrote this sentence during the first minutes of the show – “Ok, Hoyt needs death, quickly. He needs permanent removal from this equation.” LOL. I almost wet myself later when Jessica slammed his face into the counter! Too bad it was just a daydream. Damn though, he flipped a switch between her daydream and the real scene, huh? He gave her what for!

Later, when Jess showed up Jason’s doorstep, I was like, please let this be it, please let this be it, please let this be it, please let this be it.

Nope. Jason wound up doing some push ups in lieu of the smush ups I wanted to see. Damn it!

What the hell did Eric say when Sookie ripped the chains off his neck? I thought he was Steve Carell getting waxed in the “40 Year Old Virgin” for a minute. It was good to see him turn nasty when he was tapping Sookie’s neck, even if only for a second. Because they immediately follow that with more Vampire romance mumbo jumbo about “being one”. Of course, when we come back to them, it turns out he was talking about having sex on acid V. The two of them are as sappy as hell. I swear they make me want to puke. If you had told me in Season one that they’d hook up, but I’d want to fast forward through it, I would have thought you were crazy.

Bill glamours his way onto tv, and makes a televised statement. I wanna know what he was going to say that Christ said. I’m betting it was something like “Judge not lest ye be judged”, but it would be much cooler if he said it was “Yo! Wine’s here!” or “Does anybody want more fish?”. Bill could shrug and say, “Hey, listen, thats what I heard, I know someone who was there”.

Antonia Maria Conchita Alonso accepts his offer of a sit down. But we had to wait all episode for it. Bill asks her for a truce, but she calls shenanigans. Then all hell busts loose with a battle scene! I was actually pretty amped up over it. Pam was there, and Bill’s strike squad, and Tara brought her wooden bullets… Eric was chowing down on people like he was me with a Frankie’s Pizza! Earlier, when he and Sookie “enlisted”, I was hoping they’d both wind up casualties. Unfortunately, when Sookie actually got shot though, I was like, ohhh nooo. Because I know they’ll never really let her die, and now we have to suffer through all the maudlin bs associated with her getting shot, with no actual suspense involved.

She winds up getting carried off by Alcide. I hope THEY hook up now. Not that I want to see more mush, but she might as well bang every guy on the show. Why leave Alcide out?

Earlier, Alcide was at a local Redneck Werewolves pack meeting where they settled on their isolationist policies. Then have a cookout. See? I told you werewolf women were called “Bitches”! LOL The young are pups, too. Debbie mentions that Sookie brings vampire baggage with her. To which I’d add “Mush” and “Gush”.

Jonesing Andy Bellefleur has his best line ever! “Jesus, tits and God America, Jason, what the $&#% is happening to me?” In fact his entire V monologue was funny shit! As was Jason’s response about stopping listening halfway through.

Looks like Evil Demon Baby’s ghost nanny was attached to Dirty Dolly Can’t Get Rid of Me… Its good to know, I was getting sick of just seeing her singing and disappearing. Seems now though she’s got a bit stronger “constant”. I wonder if anyone will notice the difference in Lafayette, LOL. Probably only if she doesn’t curse.

And lastly, Tommy finally added something to this show by posing as Hoyt’s mom. His best moment yet.

So what did you think True Blood fans? Will Sookie stretch this bs out live? What will Antonia Maria Conchita Alonso do with Eric now? It’s impossible to make him a bigger wuss. And will Jessica and Jason ever really do smush ups? Please?

Let me know what you think!

4 thoughts on “TV Talk: True Blood (S4E8 “Spellbound”)

  1. I apologize for not responding until now, I was on vaca with no internets or HBO. I was so psyched when Jess smashed Hoyt’s head, dammit why was it a dream? It was good to see Pam’s face back to normal. Why do I get the feeling that Bill is going to use Tara to help with the defeat of the witch (love the Conchita Alonso reference, Pac Man). And I have to disagree with you, the line of the night went to Jason when Jess went into his truck, “I want you to fu$% me and bite me at the same time”. If only they showed that scene. Somehow I don’t think it would be anywhere near as sappy as the pathetic “it’s snowing but there are no clouds and I can feel the sun” harlequin romance novel that is Sookie and Eric. Jason and Jess did smush ups, they will show it tonite. And who the hell was the father of the black woman’s baby? It had to be a relative of crazy V’ed up Andy no? Why else would she be so interested in that baby? Payback is a bitch sometimes, a creole baby snatching bitch. As always, I appreciate your work and I will have some responses for you tomorrow.


    • Digger! There he is. What’s up brother?

      LOL is completely overused, but I really did laugh out loud when I read – the pathetic “it’s snowing but there are no clouds and I can feel the sun” harlequin romance novel that is Sookie and Eric.

      I think everyone is a relative of Jonesing Andy Bellefleur. The whole town is full of them.

      No sweat man, everything is good… Papa’s been on, commenting about the overrated movies thread, check it out if you get a chance! I hope you enjoyed your vacation.

  2. I finally got to watch this episode. Like always, you sum the thing up perfectly. I was feeling bad for Jessica as she was getting kicked out of everybody’s house. I was dying to see her naked.

    Like you, I am so sick of Sookie and Eric. I want the old Eric back. It will be interesting to see what the witch does with him now that he is enslaved. Once again, I think Tara will switch sides, kind of like her switching sides on who she’s going to do.

    The interesting character now is Tommy the skinwalker. Trying to get all that money from Hoyt’s mom, screwing Sam’s girlfriend and generally making a mess of things. I’m interested in seeing Marcos and Sam confrontation. Sam may be a little dude but he’s tough.

    I thought it was funny when Andy was going to lick the burned out vampire on the ground.

    Alcide is becoming a better character, needs to get rid of that whiny bitch Debbie, though she makes a nice white wolf. The other girls in the show need to get naked besides Sookie, Debbie would be good, Jessica the best, we’ve had a good few glimpses of Tara. Bill’s maker from last season was another good one, I forget her name, Lauraine or something like that.

    I’m still watching this season but not with as much gusto as I did the seasons prior. This one I don’t mind if I am days late on it. The others I would watch them the next day, regardless how early I have to get up.

    • Yeah, its definitely lost some of its edge. Its been picked up for season five, but I find it hard to imagine ever taking the show seriously anymore.

      Lorraine, I believe you are right – no trip to IMDb, I just think thats it. I thought that scene where he twisted her head clean around was just shockingly funny. Last season was so much better than this one.

      The folks at the “Deborah Ann Woll Needs to Put it on the Record Fund” are losing hope. A couple of volunteers have quit. But its never too late! Let’s not give up hope!

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