Now Showing on Cable: “Fast Five”


HBO’s big new premiere this weekend was 2011’s “Fast Five”, the fifth installment in “The Fast and the Furious” franchise.

“Fast Five” returns all the major players – Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster – plus returns several familiar faces from prior chapters such as Tyrese Gibson, Gal Gadot, Sung Kang, and Ludacris. This time, though, they up the ante by adding Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to the mix.

But even though they assembled a “Fast and Furious” dream team, can they recapture the high-octane magic of previous outings?

“Fast Five” puts Paul Walker’s Brian O’Conner and Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto on the run again, this time down in Rio de Janeiro. After busting Dom out of a prison transport bus, O’Conner, Mia and Dom find themselves south of the border. When a car heist (from a speeding train 🙂 ) goes sour, the two leads are forced to determine why. What they learn is that the car theft was actually a mission to recover the financial data of a crime cartel, contained in a computer in one of the cars.

They have no time to act on the realization prior to the arrival of The Rock’s Agent Hobbs and his team of bodybuilders special agents. Hobbs is a brutish, urban-tank driving special agent and leader of an elite task force. Once his team is called in to investigate the train robbery, he latches on to O’Conner and Dom and begins to track them with a relentless zeal. He’s “Old Testament. Blood, bullets, wrath of God, that’s his style.”

Even though O’Conner, Dom and Mia have Hobbs and his team on their trail, they also have the cartel data detailing the location of millions of dollars. They put a plan in motion to heist every dollar that’s listed. First they put out the call to all the past team members they can. Once the crew is assembled, they brazenly hit one location, which tricks the cartel into consolidating all their cash into a single, heavily secured location. The fact that it happens to be a police station doesn’t slow the “Furious” gang down at all.

The heist is on.

“Fast Five” continues the franchise’s proud tradition of ludicrous high-speed chases, ridiculous action sequences, and deliciously bad acting. In addition to the typical dosage of souped up speeding, they amp up the shootout quotient by 200%. To its credit, the movie features slick camera work, great pacing, and a propulsive soundtrack. But most of all, it’s cheesey fun, and they know exactly how to serve up what the fans want. Adding the Rock to this franchise was an inspired touch of brilliance, and the fist-fight between him and Vin Diesel is easily one of the best movie fights ever.

When it was released last year, “Fast Five” broke the box office record for the highest-grossing April opening weekend, and surpassed “Fast & Furious” to become the highest-grossing film in the franchise. It’s grossed over $625 million worldwide. To the shock of no one, a sequel has already been announced.

That’s fine with me. I’m in.


29 thoughts on “Now Showing on Cable: “Fast Five”

  1. That’s because you live your life a quarter mile at a time big guy. I bought this for my son Cam and Vin’s acting has surely improved (snicker snicker), “I never thought anyone could understand, but you do…” That scene was deep when he broke into the hot cops crib just to get his necklace back. Like you said though, the action scenes, although over the top were exactly what was to be expected. I’m not gonna lie though, I miss the non CGI days, you know, like the car chase scene in Bullitt? And yes, the fight scene was really good. I can’t believe however that they are going to make another one. Can you picture Paul Walker running from the bad guys with his baby on his back? Oscar worthy, oh hell no. But if you are looking for a mindless, action movie, I’m on the train with this one too. Of course, I thought the Ford GT40 suited me better than Jordana, but hey, who am I?


    • LOL. I love the quick head turn at the end of that “I never thought anyone could understand, but you do…” scene. Diesel is awesome.

      You’re right, easily 50% of the car scenes in that flick were CGI’ed. I miss the old days too. In fairness to Fast 5 though, they were still fun.

      Meanwhile though, yeah, I can believe theyre making another one… after all the money this one made? Walker’ll be a grandpappy before they stop making ’em!

  2. Y’know, I never have any interest in seeing the Fast & Furious movies, but maybe, just maybe I’ll give this one a rent on a slow night. I do like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, he’s obviously not a great actor but he’s got charisma. Can’t stand Paul Walker though, he’s just so darn boring in anything he’s in.

    • It’s fast, glossy, dont tax your brain type stuff. 😀

      If you want to just chill and have some fun, its a good option. Got be interested in some candy flavored fluff though, thats for sure.

  3. The fact that this made 625 gazzilion dollars and John Carter made squat makes me want to punch someone in the neck. ALOT.

    Especially people who have tattoos covering their necks… like the cast of this movie.

      • Whoa Andrew, I got tattoos, not on my neck but still. And have you ever been punched in the neck? Shit hurts like hell, I know. And, you lost me at John Carter. I would rather be forced to watch Bucky Larson for 72 straight hours than that there Carter flick. You know you are all free to do as you choose. I’ll ride with you Torretto…..Classic baby!!!

      • “I would rather be forced to watch Bucky Larson for 72 straight hours than that there Carter flick.”

        No you wouldn’t… Just… trust me.

        LOL. Diggs is pretty tatted up though Gelf. 😀 “I’ll ride with you Torretto” That is a pretty classic moment. I seriously dont know where this series latched its hooks into me, but… yeah. LOL I was like HELL YEAH.

  4. FYI- Gelf, it wasn’t just “tatoo” that felt that way; $625M for FF> $179M JC indicates the public felt that way as did Rotten Tomatoes 78% fresh for FF vs. 50% for John Carter. Sorry Dude.

      • It’s only because Disney miss-marketed John Carter! If it had been called “WARLORD OF MARS” and marketed as a big summer tentpole it would have been BANK! I’m telling you! …and I’m just glad no one pointed out the silliness of insinuating that I was going to punch the Rock in the neck. I probably would have broken my hand if I tried… but still… NECK PUNCH!

    • Ohhhh… my “Movies That Everyone Should See”? LOL! Nooo. No no.

      But I’ll tell you this. Pretty much EVERY movie in this series deserves its own Cheese-Tastic Classic post. All of ’em! 😀

  5. Just like American Pie, I grew up with The Fast and Furious franchise. I remember the summer after my graduation, the first movie of the Summer was The Fast and Furious. I loved ever minute of it. My ultimate favorite is Tokyo Drift and it’s not because it was set in Japan, but because of Han. I like the fact that Fast Five had Han and because of this, a mini war on what the true order of the Fast and Furious movies should be broke out amongst my siblings. LOL

      • I believe it’s:
        The fast and furious
        2 fast and 2 furious
        Fast and Furious
        Fast Five
        Tokyo Drift

        The whole Han being alive, dead, then alive again is messing up the whole time line. I’m not complaining, I like the character. Plus, Letty dying in one movie, but only to find out in the next movie that she is really alive. Plus, Eva Mendes showing up at the end in Fast Five makes me believe that 2 Fast and 2 Furious still happened before F&F. That and Paul Walker’s being a cop, then civilian, FBI, then back to civilian again. Whoa, just got all nerd on ya. Honestly, I’m still wrong, because of continuity aspects. Thankfully, the fans (including me) either don’t care or too stupid to notice.

      • LOL. Count me under the “Too stupid to notice”. 😀 Although in fairness

        a) Years go by between viewing each chapter
        b) My brain switch is always decidedly in the “Off” position when I watch these.

        But hey, that’s the movie blogosphere, bringin’ out the continuity nerd in people! Gotta love it. I’ll keep an eye out on it if I start to write these up for the Cheestastic posts…

      • I love this jenkakio! I’ve heard debated on the order of the Fast and Furious films a fair bit and your order tracks with that in my head. Though I know there are people out there saying that Letty’s death in Fast & Furious was faked. Won’t know until the next one I guess!

  6. I love this film. I think I could go as far as to put it on my most loved films of last year. It’s just so much fun. The action’s great. The car’s are stunning. It’s the perfect example of a great action film. Pure action.

    Is it me, or are there fewer or these kinds of films? Action films that are actually decent? There’s a bit of a trend where people feel like they don’t need to put as much into the script or direction or cinematography if there’s an explosion exploding in your face every 5 seconds.

    I really loved the end sequence with the safe rattling around the streets of Rio. No one’s done that before!

    • LOL. That’s certainly true. No one had done that before. 😀

      It was fun. Didn’t make a single bit of sense, or adhere to the laws of physics, but it was fun. I enjoyed it.

      Uhm, as to the death of action movies, I think that the Superhero genre is stealing a lot of weeks in the release calendar. And then after that, they’re not easy to make. They really latched on to something here, and as long as they get the cast back together and repeat the formula, they can create a winning flick. Its not that easy though to come up with new ones…

      Glad you enjoy, these are a blast!

  7. I was just thinking about Fast Five the other day in that it released just a year ago. Can’t wait for the next one actually.

    I really enjoyed this one. While the franchise is getting further away from its origins and going in a new direction (from street racing to heist movies), I look forward to what’s up next.

  8. I was surprised how much I enjoyed Fast Five. I really didn’t like any of the previous movies all that much and just about gouged my eyes off from seeing the first 20 minutes of the Tokyo installment. It was a great idea to veer this franchise toward a more heist thriller territory rather than stick with the car street racing subculture.

    • Not your brand of cheese previously, Cap? I’ve always found them to be a little ridiculous, but always enjoyable.

      Glad you liked this one though. Nothing can top a Vin Deisel / The Rock throwdown. Makes me wish they had gotten Schwarzenneger and Stallone to square off in their prime. 😦

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