Grown Ups 2

Excruciating.

The 2013 Summer Movie Preview – Part 2

Ok, everyone, here we go! The second half of the Summer slate for 2013! There’s plenty of big movies in store, and of course, a handful of DOAs.

Click through to check out the second half of this Summer!

Here Comes the Boom

Here comes the “Boom”, alright. Let me tell you what the %$&#ing “Boom” is.

The “Boom” is that whatever minor modicum of talent Kevin James has is rendered meaningless by the fact that he continually chooses these insipid, moron friendly comedies to star in. This movie proceeds from the assumption that the audience will willingly trade their common sense for the opportunity to “feel good” and then proceeds to build a farfetched scenario laden with implausible occurrences, featuring stereotypical characters. “Here Comes the Boom” is exactly the dumbed down tripe you suspect it is.

“Boom”.

Hotel Transylvania

In the dark of the theatre,
Barely anyone there,
Warm smell of my popcorn
Rising up through the air…

Up ahead on the big screen
I watched the shimmering lights
The art was iffy and the humor, dim.
I had to put up a fight!

There he was doing voices,
Adam Sandler as Drac
And I was thinking to myself,
“Can I get my money back?”

He was joined in by Samberg
Who also got in the way
Then the voices of their friends showed up!
Which leads me to say…

I sat through the “Hotel Transylvania”!
Such an average film.
Such an average film…
I can’t recommend you the “Hotel Transylvania”!
If you’re movie bound
There’s better things around!

The 2012 Fall Movie Preview – Part II

Ok folks, here we go. Part II of the 2012 Fall Movie Preview. Today we’ll break down all the major releases on tap for the month of October, and the first week of November!

As you might imagine, it’s a diverse bunch. There are some ahead that look intriguing, and some that might as well be announcing that they’re garbage already, LOL. Let’s have a look and see if we can’t sort out what’s what!!

The 2012 Fall Movie Preview – Part I

With this weekend’s release of “The Expendables 2” and “ParaNorman”, the summer movie season is pretty much over. One weekend remains in August, and those movies wont have much room to run before school is back in session.

Nope, the season of the big blockbuster is behind us. It’s time to look ahead to the fall.

Not to despair, though, the fall brings sharp movies for the thinking movie fan. Movies which may have more selective box office appeal, but which may be some of the best movies all year.

So click through to take a look at the first part of this year’s fall preview. Today we’ll look at the last week of August, plus September, and then we’ll come back tomorrow with October and the first week of November. Together they’ll take us right up to the start of the Holiday movie season, and the November 9th release of Skyfall!

Now Showing On Cable: “Zookeeper”

Premiering this weekend on HBO was last year’s “Zookeeper”, starring Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, and a host of celebrities lending voices to animals, including Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone and Cher.

This movie would have had the distinction of being the first movie I’d reviewed during its theatrical run and then again when it hit premium cable, except I skipped it in theatres, running a “review” that simply said, “Yeah, right. I’d rather get poked in the eye.”

I did, however, view it as part of my “research” for the MAJOR Awards. It was a strong contender for a “Worst Picture” nomination. It didn’t wind up in the field though… Does that mean I actually liked it?

Now Showing on Cable: “The Dilemma”

Premiering this weekend on HBO was “The Dilemma,” a comedy released in January of this year starring Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Jennifer Connelly and Winona Ryder.

“The Dilemma” is the story of two best friends and co-workers. When one of them (Vaughn) catches the others wife (Ryder) having an affair, he has a “dilemma”. Does he tell his friend (James) or not?

Comedy ensues.

Zookeeper

Yeah, right. I’d rather get poked in the eye.