James Bond: Classic, Cheese or Crap? – “For Your Eyes Only”

“For Your Eyes Only”


Bond: Roger Moore

Classic, Cheese, or Crap?: CRAP

“For Your Eyes Only” is one of my least favorite Bond films of all time. I recognize that the public views it far more fondly than I, but I can’t get past the fact it commits the cardinal sin for Bond movies.

It’s boring.

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Under the Radar?: “Triangle”

Triangle may be one of the most difficult movies I’ve tried to recommend so far.

Not because it’s a difficult movie to champion, quite the contrary, this movie is awesome.

It’s just that… discussing ANY of it can cross into spoiler territory. So how do I put across enough of what’s good about this flick in order to make you want to see it, without ruining any of the juicy goodness when you DO see it?

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2011 Fall Movie Season Preview

“And I can tell you
My love for you will still be strong
After the movies of summer have gone…”

God. I’ve GOT to stop doing that! Why anybody comes back to this blog when I keep doling out such HAM is beyond me.

It’s true though. The movies of summer have gone. This weekend brings “Don’t be Afraid of the Dark”, “Our Idiot Brother” and “Colombiana”, after which the summer season will be officially deemed closed.

BIG movies begin to come back during the “Holiday Movie Season”, which begins the week before Thanksgiving. This year the Holiday season will kick off with “Happy Feet Two”, “Twilight: Breaking Dawn” and (thankfully) “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” starring Gary Oldman. Once those movies hit, the ball is officially rolling, as Turkey Day weekend itself brings us “The Muppets” and Martin Scorsese’s “Hugo”.

The fall is pretty much the lowest profile time of the year for movies. Blockbusters come out in the Summer, the Holidays, and early March. Oscar contenders are typically released in January to stay fresh in voters minds. With the exception of Halloween, which often brings high-profile horror movies, the fall pretty much has a reputation for being a dumping ground.  

Still, there are movies on my radar (of course). Movies that I’m looking forward to to varying degrees. Click through to see the ten movies I’m looking forward to the most between now and the Holiday Movie Season.

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Fright Night

When I first heard that “Fright Night” was getting remade, I thought to myself “Now there’s the type of movie they should remake.” I mean, I remember the name – GREAT title, right – but the movie not so much. So it had that “Pre-existing market awareness” that Hollywood is seeking so freaking desperately these days, yet it’s not messing with any cherished memories. I’m sure the movie has some folks who cling to it more than I did, but no one could really argue it was any kind of classic or anything. So yeah, there you go Hollywood, that’s a good one. Go to town.

The problem is that this movie pretty much perfectly exemplifies why Hollywood should stop remaking movies.

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News Worth Sharing/Random Rants: Ridley Scott is Going Back to “Blade Runner”

I’m sad, too, Sean. I’m sad too.

Why? Just. Seriously. Why?

Did Robin Hood suck so bad that Ridley Scott lost all faith in trying new things? First, he “revisits” Alien… although, thankfully that movie was spared a direct sequel/prequel/pukequel and wound up becoming the upcoming “Prometheus” instead.

Now, as the good folks at Anomalous Materials point out, Deadline is reporting that Ridley Scott has signed a deal with a company that purchased the movie rights, and is now going to “revisit” Blade Runner.

I believe the comment I left on the “A.M.” thread sums up my feelings.

“I want to puke.

But I can’t stop crying”.

WHAT THE %$@&??!!!

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Now showing on cable: “The A-Team”

Premiering Saturday night on Cinemax was 2010’s “The A-Team”, starring Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copely, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Jessica Biel.

Fair warning. I’m a BIG fan of the tv show.

It happened to hit me at just the right age. Any older and I think I would have been too critical of it. Any younger and I wouldn’t have appreciated its blend of humor, action and colorful characters. As it wound up though, it’s a show that would make my top 5 personal favorites from my youth with ease. If I didn’t have a baby blog to feed, I most likely would have continued to stay away from the movie adaptation in protest.

But, technically, it’s not a remake… the original was a TV show and this is a movie. And I heard enough things about it to make me think it has little chance of disrupting my fond memories of the original. And I DO need post material, so I said, screw it, let’s check it out.

I’m actually glad – well, at least not pissed –  I did.

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Movies That Everyone Should See: “Beauty and the Beast”


Tale as old as time…

Or 1991, at least.

In the early 1990s, Walt Disney Animated Features was in the midst of a renaissance. “The Little Mermaid”, “Beauty and the Beast”, “Aladdin”, and “The Lion King” were all released within a five year span.

“Beauty and the Beast” was the most successful animated film in Disney history at the time of its release. It was the first animated feature film to utilize computer animation. It was the first animated picture in U.S. box office history to gross more than one hundred million dollars, and the first animated film to be nominated for Best Picture.

It is truly one of the greatest animated motion pictures of all time.

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Final Destination 5

The upside to being a fifth film in a franchise is that by now, audiences know exactly what to expect.

I didn’t expect any major deviations from the formula, I didn’t expect any radical departures from the prior films. Thus I knew even before going in that “Final Destination 5” had a maximum achievable grade of a B, even though it could still possibly fail if it wound up sucking.

Here’s what “Final Destination 5” needed to do in order to max out its grade in my book.

  1. Provide a suitable cast of attractive, vapid characters to kill. I don’t want any GOOD characters, I’d hate to think of them as actual people. Hell, I barely want to think at all during this flick. Give me Cannon Fodder and make it pretty.  
  2. Feed me a series of comically freakish kills. The gorier the better. The more complicated the better. Kind of like a Fangoria Magazine game of Mousetrap.
  3. Abuse the 3D element of the film. Don’t hold back. You can not shoot enough things straight at me and off the screen, or drop them off of high enough cliffs. Go to town.

Done, Done and Done.

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